Breathe and Count Back from Ten

"Stop. I don't want to get my hopes up."
"It's not illegal, you know. To want something."

Breathe and Count Back from Ten by Natalia Sylvester is a contemporary novel about Vero, a a Peruvian American teen, who has hip dysplasia and desperately wants to be a professional mermaid in the local show Mermaid Cove, where “mermaids” dance underwater for an audience. Her parents are very much against that, as it is frivolous and not good for her prospects, they are conservative and have many restrictions. However, an audition is coming and supported by her sister and friends, she might just try out, and when she meets Alex as he moves to the same compound, there might be something brewing there…

This is perfect book to read in the summer! It has it all, mermaids, sunny Florida, a main character who loves swimming… you can’t help but feel warm when you read it. I have to start with the disability representation, because it is OFF THE CHARTS. And by that I mean it’s treated as simply a part of the main character. There are no miracle cures in the end, it isn’t “inspirational”, she doesn’t overcome anything (except maybe some ableism and her fear of her scars). It happens to her, it sucks, some aspects more than other, and it has an impact on her life, but she is gasp a person with hopes and dreams and mistakes and love just like any other. This should not be revolutionary, but it is. It is so rare in fiction! It’s up there with Sick Kids in Love and I honestly can’t think of another English YA book and I deliberately look up disability books, most center around the disability or it is only brought up every once in a while. This book nailed it. The ableism from people, the hell of hospitals, how everyone is coping, and how her parents watch her all the time. I myself do not have hip dysplasia, so I can’t say how the rep is (I’m pretty sure it’s epic), but I connected with her journey very much.

But I said this book is about so much more, and it is! The family dynamics are so strong, and Vero and her little sister struggle a lot with her parent’s opinions and rules. Because they are immigrants, her parents know they have to work twice as hard for the same privileges, so they need their daughters to be perfect. But that pressure drips drips drips like Encanto taught us, as you can’t always be perfect. Especially when you can be a mermaid, who wouldn’t chose that over perfect? Her little sister is also adorable, and they have some sweet moments and some moments where she totally gets under your skin, so you know, very relatable sister relationship. Her friends are also amazing and very supportive, even though they don’t always understand everything.
And the romance, I loved it! It’s a summer romance, so it moves a bit fast, and they have to keep it a secret because of Vero’s parents, but Alex is very sweet and helps her, and we discover so much more layers of his personality! I absolutely love layers and this added much depth to the story.

For me, the only thing that could’ve been a little better is the pacing. The middle dragged a little, I really wanted one thing to happen but that didn’t happen for a long time and that threw me off a little. This is very minor and I still read the book in a few days but I did want to mention that.

The end was perfect. I didn’t expect it to end this way, but once you’re there you see it is really the best way. Sorry, this sounds cryptic but you know, I don’t want to give away spoilers. But I can say I loved this story and it’s one of the best stories with disability rep out there right now. Or when it is released, as I read an e-ARC (no opinions were influenced).