Unorthodox - Barbara Feldman

❝ I am not aware at this moment that I have lost my innocence. I will realize it many years later. One day I will look back and understand that just as there was a moment in my life when I realized where my power lay, there was also a specific moment when I stopped believing in authority just for its own sake and started coming to my own conclusions about the world I lived in. ❞
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- Barbara Feldman - Unorthodox

I picked up this memoir in preparation for the Netflix original series Unorthodox. Mainly because I wanted to be able to detect which elements of a story get lost in adaptation but it’s also nice to see how one art form influences and shapes another.
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Turns out that Etsy Shapiro’s story (Netflix) is only loosely modeled after Barbara Feldman’s real life encounter and to be honest I liked the book better. Don’t get me wrong, the Netflix original is certainly worth your while and Sira Haas as the main character definitely does not disappoint. It’s only that Barbara’s actual story is far more interesting and, for me, a lot more educational.
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Because the memoir only documents Barbara Feldman’s years within the ultra religious Satmar community, you get a more balanced view of Hassidic Judaism. Sure ... the community maintained a code of enforced customs governing everything from what one could wear, what was permissible to read, and to whom one could speak. But when you read the memoir you realize that is not just about repression, there is also a level of kinship and warmth within this community.
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The memoir is a joy to read because the author has a very pleasant writing style. The upside is that you can almost taste the meticulously prepared kosher meals but alas you also feel trapped, frustrated and deprived because so much of what is deemed “normal” is prohibited within this community. And by the time the author makes the decision to step out of this insular community, you also grasp that is about more than having to abide by a slew of restrictive rules.